Thursday, December 23, 2010

Bling Bling

Comes with free pen/carrying case

I noticed something today that got me thinking...

A coworker recently got engaged, and after I congratulated her and shared post-engagement stories, I asked to see her ring. She seemed a little embarassed as she held it out--it was pretty, and huge--and right away she said she had to get it made smaller because "it looked like costume jewelry." I don't know if she meant the ring band or the diamond, and I didn't ask, but I thought it was a little strange. The diamond in my own engagement ring is smaller, and I got the sense that she was worried that she was showing off or embarrassing me because hers is so much bigger.

It's bizarre, but it's not the first time it's happened (another was a friend of a friend who got engaged a week or two before me. We made the mistake of holding out our hands at the same time, she blushed, said something about the size, and pulled her hand away). And every time it does happen, I feel weird. I love my ring, L-O-V-E it. There is absolutely nothing I would change about it, including the diamond size--it is so exactly what I want that I keep trying to pressure Dave into picking out the wedding band, too.

So why all the weird feelings about comparing ring sizes? I don't really know where it comes from, and I'm not the best at making anti-Tiffany's rants or raging about the consumer-driven mindset that's led people to equate size of diamond with amount of love and happiness afforded to a couple.* Still, it bothers me, and I don't like feeling like I have to defend my beautiful ring every time someone pulls out something bigger (which I don't do, because that would only add to the weirdness, but the feeling's still there).

I think engagement rings, unlike almost any other kind of jewelry, are so universal and so expected and so tied up with feelings of love that they naturally lend towards comparisons. And I don't think this is necessarily bad, and I enjoy seeing different styles and shapes and settings, but feeling any kind of embarrassment about rings--yours or someone else's--is pretty silly.

*You know who is awesome at this? Meg, from A Practical Wedding. Along with oversized engagement rings, her blog should be required for all brides- and grooms-to-be.


  1. Agreed! A lady should love her ring, and shouldn't feel embarrassed--or make others feel embarrassed-- because of its size or style. My ring philosophy: make it something you truly love, whatever that might be.

    Lucky for me, my aquamarine is like an automatic opt-out ticket for the "engagement ring olympics." Instead of commenting on the size, people say it is a pretty color, and praise Philipp's surprisingly good taste in baubles :)

  2. I love your ring! I was just telling a non-diamond-inclined friend how lovely and perfect your aquamarine is! That is an excellent philosophy, and I whole-heartedly agree.